Hey guys! My name is Jenna and I'm a sophmore in highschool! Please ask me questions and stuff! This is my first blog, so don't judge it too harshly! ;) Um,I have OCD, which is an anxiety disorder... If you have an anxiety disorder or anything like that, PLEASE talk to me and ask questions! I've been through a lot with mine and I'm almost over it! ANYWAYS, now that I've bored you all to death, I guess I'll stop here. I'll post more on it below. Thanks for everything and stuff! Oh, and P.S.: I LOVE YOU!
Where to start... Once upon a time, a little Jenna in 4th grade started to realize that she didn't like it when other kids at school didn't wash their hands and then bumped into her. it made her feel germy. and thus, the OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) Had planted its seed and had begun to sprout! She took a shower right when she got home from school everyday. She thought that when she looked at people that looked gross then she would get their germs in her eyes. she had to rub her eyes to get rid of those germs. in addition, there were also breath germs, which she got if she breathed in near dirty looking people. to get rid of these, she breathed out as hard and long as she could Also, if dirty looking people talked near her she would get their germs in her ears and she would have to jerk her head to the side to get those out of her ears. and then she went to therapy blah blah blah and she didn't think that was helping so she went to a different therapist and this therapist was actually a good therapist. eventually Jenna got better and she moved on with her life. AND THEN in 5th grade the OCD came back and it wasn't too bad until 7th-ish to 8th grade. by third quarter in 8th grade, Jenna was getting rid of breath germs and eye germs again. here's where it gets even weirder.... so Jenna's mind... kinda like started turning against her. So she imagined sponges that would soak up the germs and then she would use an imaginary fire to burn them. then she couldn't find many clean imaginary sponges. then there where imaginary Clorox wipes... which also had to be burnt after use. then imaginary disinfectant spray... then after school everyday she would use half a bottle of disinfectant spray on the car, her backpack, and her shoes and her clothes would get washed right away... she would not swallow her spit whenever she talked and after she talked in fear that she would be swallowing germs. she would take a shower right after school and she would put soap all over the entire shower and she would put soap in her mouth and she would have to use her imaginary cleaning supplies to clean out her stomach and lungs. she just wished she had never been born. just wished she would die right then and there. after spring break, she was too afraid and anxious to go back to school. thus, intensive therapy began. did i mention she spent countless nights cowering and crying on her bed, hoping that this would all just end. intensive therapy... 5 days a week. two hours a day. small square room. anxiety.eventually she ignored all the imaginary things and stopped getting rid of eye, breath, and spit germs. And she went back to school for graduation and kept exposing herself to these germs in her mind. And then she was over her OCD. For the most part. She still had general anxiety. And was on anti anxiety medicine (that's the best way I can describe it without too much detail) The end.